Doomscroller I

How to unlock Doomscroller I in Cheevos. Scroll one million pixels in a single browsing session. Worth 15 XP.

The story

Partner. One million pixels. In one sitting.

Cache did the arithmetic more than once because he did not believe it the first time. A million pixels is not a page. It is not a website. It is a canyon of content, scrolled downward, in a single unbroken session.

He does not ask what was on the other end of that scroll. He is not in the business of judgment. He is in the business of measurement, and the measurement is enormous. Somewhere in that descent there was probably something useful. There was almost certainly a lot that wasn't.

The turn: Cache expected this entry to feel grim. Instead he finds it oddly comforting. A million pixels means the feed never ran out, and neither did you. That is either a warning or a triumph, and Cache, wisely, declines to pick a side. He just logs the distance.

The catalog entry

ONE MILLION PIXELS SCROLLED Acquired: Scrolled 1,000,000 pixels in a single browsing session. Condition: Deeply descended. Rarity: Uncommon. Cache's Notes: A million pixels down. Cache has thought about what this number means physically. It is a very long column of content. Most of it was probably fine. Some of it was probably not fine. Cache does not make judgments about what you scroll through. He only measures the distance. The distance is logged.

Spoiler: how to unlock it

This one adds up fast if you spend real time in a long feed. Here's the path:

  1. Open a page with a lot of vertical content: a long article, a social feed, an endless-scroll site.
  2. Scroll down. Keep scrolling. Cheevos tallies every pixel of scroll movement in your current session.
  3. Reach 1,000,000 total pixels scrolled before the session ends.

Scrolling is measured through the browser's scroll position, which changes every time the page's viewport moves relative to its content. A typical monitor is roughly 1,000 to 1,500 pixels tall, so a million pixels works out to hundreds of full screens of content, one continuous feed at a time. Infinite-scroll feeds, like social media timelines and news aggregators, are usually the fastest way to rack up the distance, since they load new content automatically instead of forcing you to click to the next page.

Where it fits in the Stash

This one lives in the same drawer as every other measurement of scroll behavior Cache keeps, right next to the achievements that track how far and how fast you travel down a page. For the story of the raccoon who counts pixels for a living, read the story.